I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
