Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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