The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Randomize
