Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
