it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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