Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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