mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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