I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
