your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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