Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
