Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
