Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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