I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
