# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
