Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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