I met the friendliest cop last night
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
