hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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