my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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