She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
