Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
