Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
