Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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