You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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