i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
