There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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