Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
