Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
