dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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