I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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