I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
