I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
