You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
