Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
