I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
