420 ftw
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
