Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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