Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
