dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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