oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
