Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
