At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
