can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She just used a chaser for red wine.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
