Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
