The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
