she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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