we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
