The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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