Hey man sorry I got all grabby
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
