After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
