I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
