yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
